ii guess i've hurt him again. i initate a break up, i know i cannot go on any longer with him so its better for me to speak up earlier.
went out with him ystd. i was in a bad mood due to insufficient sleep but i controlled. we didnt even know where to go. as usual we took the train first and decide ltr. i did not tell him where i went the day before i know i should but i kept quiet until he ask me what time did i sleep ystd. i told him i went out with anns in the middle of the night to meet laihe but i did not tell him the whole story until he ask.i went to ke cheng's hse after that, jus watch a movie and fall asleep till the next morning. i slept at 5.40am-the reason i didnt have enough sleep-absurb i guess.
i can see from his face that he was very very angry but he controlled. he ask me why i go even i know he dont like it i just kept quiet all along cause i dont know what to say. dont know how to speak up my mind due to lack of communication with him. but he keep asking why did i become like this not the me last time. *its was quite embarassing standing around CK tang there with him questioning me and people giving a weird stare when they passed by*
i speak up my mind when we've settled down at the table outside far east. i explained to him why am i like that. he was taken aback he just couldnt believe. for no reason i am like that. i told him what really have gone. he tried to salvage our relationship i know he couldnt bear to let go.
i am just a bad person i guess.. sigh.. all this shouldnt have started. dont wanna think too much.
we parted at jurong east. went to find huizi after that. she wanna go drink we decided to go MU but im not yet eighteen and so is she. went to rush in the end. but they left so earli didnt even enjoy den we left sigh.. forget it.
went to anns hse after that to sleep over.
now i got a message from guowei sayin he was hospitalised. gotta go. there's thing i have to settle.
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