me, my life..

hmms. i wonder how long since i nvr blog here.
my life have not been going well. i broke up with my boy last week. maybe he's the one who doesnt want me. i know everything is my fault. the problems start with me. but why? cant i be given another chance. another chance to love him more. i admit i have been treating him bad. i am not a good gf. always not giving in, break promises, abusing your love for me. i really really regretted. but why do i have to realize everything at the very last minute. when iu have given up on me. why cant iu hold on a little longer. just a little longer... sigh. i guess no use saying it all. when there's someone who is there with iu all this while. accompanying iu through the hard times. when i am not there... guess she is the right one for iu. i hope she really is. so i am now, alone by myself. theres no one there to care about me, ask me whether i have eaten my dinner anot, tell me he's missing me.. i am all all alone. blame who? myself. sigh. guess i will just have to move on..
but why cant i be given a chance to be your fren. i want to be your good fren. be a fren who will be there for iu. give iu sugguestion and console iu when there's no one there to listen to iu. being a fren isnt that hard right? sigh. i am just being naive. being stupid and silly. iu are going to army and i am starting my sch days.
theres still other things for me to think about. my life my future. why all the things just cant seems to fit in the right place? i wish i know. where shld i go? what shld i do. i can only be the one who makes all the decision. i need someone to guide me through. tell me whats better, which path shld i go... i wanna know..