my life

EVERYTHING. .
SEEMS TO BE DIFFERENT. .
CHANGING LIVES.

i guess i didnt blog for around few months? hmms, too lazy to write. i blog sometimes at multiply now sometimes at wu ming xiao zhan. hmms. guess why am i here in the middle of the night blogging instead of sleeping. just woke up from a 4hrs sleep and my head is like twirling. nothing comes clear to me. guess now i am still half conscious.

my life now just seems to have fallen apart. everything doesnt go well. my love life. my future. myself. sometimes i dont even know what exactly i am thinking. i have been in low spirits that come and goes. although i admit i enjoyed my new year but someone isnt there to share the happiness with me. he's always busy when i needed him to be there... all this affected me badly. once i think about it tears will immediatly fill my eyes. its like something i just cant control. i woke up just now, heavy hearted. i think about me, my life....what shld i do?

i still cant figure all of this out. maybe i'll get by as time passes. feelings will ease as time passes. i have no more assurance. i only have myself to think to feel to work things out. sometimes i
feel so out of my work. how much i wanted to leave all of my stuff aside, rest and think about what i should do about my life.. i wanted to rest for a while. i wanted to be shut down from the world i am in now.

but...i have my responsibility. i just couldnt shut everything out like nobody's business. i just couldnt..